49. Chemo: Round 3, When It Sucks

I am drinking lots of water, even now, to help clear the chemotherapy, and whatever else I have mucked up with my choices. And the pain will teach me. And it will move on.

It’s Cycle 3, Day 4, 2am.  All week I have been looking at the wonders of my world, at how ideally my body, mind and spirit have been living.  Ideal, ideal, ideal, crash!

I realize that the crash is just a bunch of moments that will pass.  But there is pain!  I am not a fan.

This is what landed me in the hospital.  The pain.  It is unnerving.  It makes all of my compensation skills puzzle.  I am not a medication person… and I have the option of hard narcotics.  I don’t take them (yet?).

I walk.  I do yard work (not at 2am).  I play games with my mind, asking it to notice what is this pain.  Is it heat?  Is it a message?  Who is speaking, colon, liver, kidney?  What should I do differently (perhaps the Bailey’s Mousse was an over the top choice at Woodfire Grill.  Maybe the alcohol was not cooked out.  No alcohol.)  Distraction.

Distraction.  When I type, the mind focuses here.  I can split my focus and feel deep, nagging, throbbing sensations in my colon.  Or I can stay up in the head and down in the fingertips, and not feel it at all.  Pain is weird.  

Yes, I took Tylenol.  Yes, all of the normal drugs and supplements are on board for today too.  I am drinking lots of water, even now, to help clear the chemotherapy, and whatever else I have mucked up with my choices.  And the pain will teach me.  And it will move on.

Author: Michele Plumb Stowell

Michele Stowell was a teacher, a hand holder, and encouraging voice. Born an early Gen Xer, she has lived in Western Washington for the duration. Her children, two spectacular genetic daughters and an uncountable number of marvelous scout and school sons and daughters, shine as her biggest impact and her greatest blessing. Just before her 54th birthday, Michele was diagnosed with stage four cancer. Her writing and art work are expressions of the drama and the joy of living earth bound. On October 24, 2021, Michele was released from her physical body, transported to continue her work on other realms.

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