86 Arrogant and Self Centered

One might think that I am being altruistic, but I am not. I am doing what I do for myself. As luck would have it, I can spiritually turn and see that we are all One. But it doesn’t really remove the egoic part of doing a baby shower (because I love doing it, because I love the family, because I want to participate and play), or visiting with a friend (on the phone or in the yard), or making food (because that is something important or special about friends and family, to ME, for ME).

So hold your tongues, silence your thoughts.  So hold your tongues, silence your thoughts.  I know some people will want to argue with this.  

Having all of these challenges creates an arrogant and self centered focus.  I notice it regularly, and blow it off as logical.  But it is not my normal thought process, or the way I normally attack daily living.  And so it calls on me to look at it, and attempt to reconcile the circumstance.

There is a lot going on.  The best way to picture it is as “challenge lasagna” (the title of another entry a while back).  Everyone has been facing extraordinary circumstances… injury, moving, illness, deaths, and more.  

Challenges of life are like a lasagna with many layers sometimes with arrogance and self-centeredness.
Challenge Lasangna with layers of arrogance and self-centered.

One advantage of my situation is that it Trumps (sorry) the rest of the world, and forces me to go to the doctor/hospital, center on my own medications and healing, and focus on what must be done or has priority in my life on a daily basis.  It doesn’t look like you might expect it to, but it is so.  

It is incredibly self centered.  I hear you arguing.  You can list whatever counter argument that you would like, but it won’t change the truth.  What I do, where I put time and effort, the way I live… they are all about me.  Each choice is about me, about where I wish to put my eyes, my efforts and my heart.

One might think that I am being altruistic, but I am not.  I am doing what I do for myself.  As luck would have it, I can spiritually turn and see that we are all One.  But it doesn’t really remove the egoic part of doing a baby shower (because I love doing it, because I love the family, because I want to participate and play), or visiting with a friend (on the phone or in the yard), or making food (because that is something important or special about friends and family, to ME, for ME).   This is definitely life.  It is dualistic.  I am blessed to be born as myself, because she is an easy character to play.  But I am also born as “other”, and I need to remember that there is a Universal part to this unfolding.  

Author: Michele Plumb Stowell

Michele Stowell was a teacher, a hand holder, and encouraging voice. Born an early Gen Xer, she has lived in Western Washington for the duration. Her children, two spectacular genetic daughters and an uncountable number of marvelous scout and school sons and daughters, shine as her biggest impact and her greatest blessing. Just before her 54th birthday, Michele was diagnosed with stage four cancer. Her writing and art work are expressions of the drama and the joy of living earth bound. On October 24, 2021, Michele was released from her physical body, transported to continue her work on other realms.

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