A body is a miraculous thing. Almost three months ago, what the surgeon had hoped would be a laparoscopic procedure turned into a large, open, surgical wound, and an abdominal experience.
In the beginning, there were an incredible number of stitches. Within two weeks, the body had closed the tissue and the skin to leave just a couple of small openings. Another two weeks, and the belly button was healed. One left. Miraculous.
And that one wound, the one that is left, is entirely stubborn and unyielding. It heals a centimeter here or a centimeter there. Then it unheals a centimeter here or a centimeter there. What? That can happen? A body can choose to unheal?
It’s about depth. What am I missing? Protein. 30 grams of protein every two hours, a lot of weight gain with that, and I’m definitely not good at it. Water. Apparently, lots of water is required. Exercise. Even though strenuous exercise is totally out of the question, lots of walking is highly encouraged to keep the blood flow at work.
The wound is still in a dance. Back and forth.
It’s about depth. What am I missing? This entire experience is about depth. It is about the dance, back and forth. Walking the line, experiencing the idiosyncrasies of the relationship between life and Eternality. There is something that I am missing.
Or… maybe I am whole… even with a hole.