181 Surrender

I drew a picture of a bowl.  I tossed the words into it.  The words of ego, the words that trap and hold me.  They are not negative, just human.  But they are a trap.

Maturity, how it looks, doing it right, being strong, supposed to.  Self sufficient, organized, oldest, talented, complete, good.  Fit in, in control, smart, how it will be judged, daughter.  Health, wisdom, mother.

Surrender.  If I give these away, put the essence of my humanity on the sacrificial alter, surrender these paradigms to the Eternal, then what?  Am I free?  Do I have to pick them up again?  Be the same?

On the third day of the retreat, we embraced surrender.  I surrender the pain. I surrender the pleasure.  I surrender this health experience.  And I surrender appearances.  I am more than my list.  When I let it go, I can see the shimmer of my Truth.

Author: Michele Plumb Stowell

Michele Stowell was a teacher, a hand holder, and encouraging voice. Born an early Gen Xer, she has lived in Western Washington for the duration. Her children, two spectacular genetic daughters and an uncountable number of marvelous scout and school sons and daughters, shine as her biggest impact and her greatest blessing. Just before her 54th birthday, Michele was diagnosed with stage four cancer. Her writing and art work are expressions of the drama and the joy of living earth bound. On October 24, 2021, Michele was released from her physical body, transported to continue her work on other realms.

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