Already merging into the water on day nine, Amber‘s retreat took us to the theme of flow. Amber quoted the Prayer of Saint Francis. When we are in the flow, we are acting as the Divine. The picture of the river bank, of the sparkling water, of stepping into the perfection of the Eternal, also has us leaving the heavy rocks that we picked up, setting them along at the bank. The stone would most certainly hamper following the currents, dragging us under.
I have a lot of rocks. I am not saying that in judgment. I think every human is carrying a pickup truck full, not truly by intention. Some of them are inherent to our situation. I have some medical rocks, some pain rocks, a wound rock, a million appointment rocks, some supplement and medication stones…
I have boulders of ego, of who I think I am and need to be in the world. The responsibility, the organization (as much as I love that one), the things to be done, paperwork, sorting, finishing the death plan to make room for a life plan.
Because I stack those at the river’s edge does not mean that they are not present and strangely necessary. It means that I leave the MUSTS and the NEED TOs, and the PRIORITIZATIONS of these as a Divine afterthought. First, flow in the river of God, relaxed and transparent.
I have some pebbles too, a lot of them though, so they should probably be emptied from my pockets and bags before I am fully immersed in the baptism of flow. The pebbles are the things that are more mutual, more attachment to earth beauty, the plants and animals and people. Even though a person could be in the flow with the human forms of mutuality weighing on her, it would make the course more tiresome. The buoyancy and speed of my travel could be altered. It’s best to leave them behind, for the connection, for the meditation, for the time of grace and emergence.
Kwami’s words were a day ahead. Amber echoed it. “Rather than make things happen, flow.”
I am stepping into the river without my humanity, all of that stuff left behind. I can feel the emergence, the grace, the flow. It surrounds me in warmth and love. And then the journey begins. Clear. Floating. One. Merged with the world. With the universe. Being carried and supported in the Divine river. Flow.