190 Searching for Clarity

Where am I headed? How long will I be on the planet? All planning has been halted in a way, because I don’t have the same illusion as most human minds. I do know that death is present and possible.

Are we all searching for clarity, or do I just think that we are because of my personal quest?  Freemont, Washington, is home to a program called Landmark Education.  That makes sense.  Freemont is progressive, a hub of what Western Washington is known for.  Freedom, Pride Parades, kitschy art and bar scenes.

In Landmark’s program, participants take a really clear look at

What they know,
What they don’t know,

And that there is a vast area of existence that is 
What they don’t know that they don’t know.

Ya… deep.

So with the Woman Unleashed program, Amber has us looking at clarity in a way that reminds me of my experiences with Landmark, but takes the concept up a notch into the field of Divinity.  The categories become

What I know,

What I pretend not to know,

And what appears fuzzy and non-concrete:

What I don’t know YET.

I can really see that my overall goals in this program, grace and emergence, have been with me all along.  Having them as my intentions was brilliant!  And even though they were always there, as the glittering red heals were on Dorothy’s feet, I was not tuned in.  Every day of the ten, brought me closer to clicking my heals.  “There is no place like home.”  Home in the light.

“There is no place like home.” 

So what do I know?  I know that I can express my gratitude outwardly, every day, in different ways.  I know that I am hanging out here to pour out love, and to receive it too. I know that artistic expression and time in nature are super important to my emergence, and to my acceptance of grace.  And I know that flowing with the Eternal looks like meditation, retreats, walks, quiet, maybe a “vacation” here and there.

Looking at what I pretend not to know is a more vulnerable thing to share.  I wonder why.  Spiritual priorities can be pretty foggy for me.  Loving others in the way I am called to love them is also a place that I writhe and twist.  Ideas pop in and out at a rapid rate, and time doesn’t seem available for everything, so the lack of clarity can lead to no action at all.  And lastly for today, there is a commitment to self, to my own healing steps.  They get convoluted and foggy, just because there is so much to balance. 

In the category of what I do not know is my path.  Where am I headed?  How long will I be on the planet?  All planning has been halted in a way, because I don’t have the same illusion as most human minds.  I do know that death is present and possible.  I do NOT know my own longevity.  So if I live, where will I live, what will I do for the world, for financial stability?  I don’t know!  

And perhaps the biggest lack of knowing for me may belong in the “pretend not to know” category, but it is so foggy that it lurks in the area of not knowing.  I don’t know how to sift my own path, dreams and Divine goals away from the tugging and pulling of others dreams for me.  

Way back, there was the meditation with the staircase.  All of the hands and people reaching for me at the bottom.  My sadness as I looked back.  And my elation to climb.  Where do the stairs lead?  Ultimately, we all go to the next level.  

In life or in death, we are always on the staircase.  There is no reason not to be elated on each stair that I climb. I am taking the next steps… with clarity. 

Author: Michele Plumb Stowell

Michele Stowell was a teacher, a hand holder, and encouraging voice. Born an early Gen Xer, she has lived in Western Washington for the duration. Her children, two spectacular genetic daughters and an uncountable number of marvelous scout and school sons and daughters, shine as her biggest impact and her greatest blessing. Just before her 54th birthday, Michele was diagnosed with stage four cancer. Her writing and art work are expressions of the drama and the joy of living earth bound. On October 24, 2021, Michele was released from her physical body, transported to continue her work on other realms.

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