One thing about chemicals in the bloodstream, they certainly cause alternate awareness. I am actively working to rinse the contrast dye and chemotherapy drugs from my system, yet they are altering me in a large way the past few days.
It’s probably better to avoid the world, and safer for the world, but I was out and about. I wanted to re-send Amisha’s holiday note; it came back by some post office error, ready to arrive at a more timely alignment with Divinity.
I have also been preparing a bit for the people who surround Dad and his Hospice care, and wanted to get to that, knowing that they will be as affected in his death as we are.
And lastly, there was a need for me to seek a protein source and more liquid options for washing this medical stuff out, at this point, anything I am willing to swallow. Water tastes disgusting. How can water taste disgusting? I love water. “Go with the flow and don’t judge,” I heard. More empathy, more awareness of others. I am learning.
On the road, the radio gave me political information for about three minutes before I had enough. I switched over to Spirit, the Seattle based Christian station. Kwami doesn’t like lyrics. I find guidance in words, deep information that leads me to insights and answers.
Ridiculous Grace. Two words that came from a Tauren Wells song, Known. I burst into tears (not in public, in the car, the public came through my adventure safely). Ridiculous grace. It is ridiculous grace that we took this breath, that we can feel the heartbeat, taste the water. It is ridiculous grace that I am on the planet today, typing, tasting, hearing, knowing.
And why I was crying is that I saw how important each person in my world is, so clearly, how perfect. And I just wanted them to see through my eyes, to know themselves this way, as the ridiculous grace of this moment. And my eyes and heart are crying again.
I am grateful for Grace, Ridiculous Grace, that shares this picture, this Truth, this love. Thank you for being my ridiculous grace!
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