The miraculous! No colon cancer, none
Results are in. Anticipation. Fear. Optimism.
The miraculous! No colon cancer, none. Nothing left of the large colon mass. No liver shadows. No crazy, active lymph situations. Nothing.
A miracle!
2020 is a year of valiant works. We are all doing incredible healing work, world changing work. I have incredible gratitude for all of your contributions. And I know that they hurt.
Today I was talking about my wound. The surgeon changed the packing schedule. Although a lot of things have healed for me, the main surgical opening still has a gap that might be ¾ inch long, and more like three or four inches deep. It drains fluids. And it is not healing quickly, or perhaps not healing at all.
They changed to packing it with gauze tape twice a day. It was always getting packed. For two weeks it has been filled every other day with a silver laden tape that repels infection, but it isn’t drying out. So the tape is different now, and the schedule is twice a day.
For me, packing hurts. It doesn’t hurt a little. It hurts to black out level. And the pain hangs around for eight to ten hours after the wound is packed. I was describing this to Shante. I said “it is stinging”. Later I went on to say “it is like there is a knife lodged in the wound, and it sends shooting pain when certain movements are made”. Shante said, “Mom, that is not stinging”.
It IS actually stinging; it stings a lot! But maybe the word isn’t strong enough, doesn’t convey the impact. When I pack the wound, the sensation does not stop much before it is packed again, if it stops it at all. I am back on Tylenol, and considering trying something stronger… because of packing. It reminds me of the MRSA.
So, the body has pain. It warns me with pain. It talks to me of transition and healing and world change.
Amisha and I have had many conversations that look at this from varying angles. Pain is a body thing. But memory of pain, or the way I experience the pain, is mental or spiritual, or a combination of the two. What is opening here for healing? (Puns… There is an opening in my abdomen. Physical healing is necessary.) Are there people in my lineage that endured great pain that need me to resolve it? Do I have historical work from my own wounding that has come up again for higher resolution?
2020 is a year of valiant works. We are all doing incredible healing work, world changing work. I have incredible gratitude for all of your contributions. And I know that they hurt. I am so thankful for the process that is unfolding within me. I pray for all of us, that we endure the stinging, and get to the other side, to insight.
I just started Chemo Cycle 3. I was having a conversation with my body before it started. Thank you body. Thank you cells. You know how to work with the chemo drugs and use them to create and shift. I trust your decisions and your knowledge. I love you. I appreciate you.
Later. There is a LOT of waiting. I arrive at the oncology center, and eventually get blood tests, which then go to the lab, then the lab has to approve that I CAN do chemotherapy drugs that day, that I am not too sick, that my counts are adequate (I am never sick and my counts are beautiful). An order for the correct dosages and medications goes to the pharmacy. The pharmacy makes the IV packs. And, well, it can be an hour and a half before they hook me up, then the process is two and half hours of in chair IV drip, and then an additional 46 hours of at home IV. It can seem ludicrous. But it is just an area for acceptance.
Back to talking to stuff: Hello chemo drugs. Thank you for coming to help me. Thank you for cooperating and working as a team with my body. Thank you for your help.
This morning, I thought about my spleen. Hello spleen, I don’t think we’ve ever had a conversation. I really appreciate all of the white cells that you work so hard to create. Thanks for being there for me.
Is it crazier to have these conversations, or crazier to admit that I have these conversations to you, who just might find them over the edge?
The healing is in the emotional heart, in the connection to God.
My definition of healing is important to distinguish. A body can heal by closing a wound or correcting an illness. Real healing is deeper. The body might come along for the ride, but the healing is in the emotional heart, in the connection to God.
I stood on the top of a pyramid, staff in hand….The staff streamed a swirl of blue light around me, and then around the environment, the world. It was healing, healing the self, healing the world
When this picture came, it was definitely about power.
I stood on the top of a pyramid, staff in hand. I was younger, or empowered with health, wisdom, and a youthful quality.
My brown hair flowed back in the wind. The staff streamed a swirl of blue light around me, and then around the environment, the world. It was healing, healing the self, healing the world
micheleplumbstowell.org 