Love – micheleplumbstowell.org

DeeDee Wheeler : I truly love her with my whole heart

One weekend it all felt like too much and I was really sad and she said “it’s OK if you feel like having a pity party, maybe I’ll join you” and we were literally on the phone for 36 hours.

I have so many memories of Michele, both as a scout leader to my daughter and as a close friend to me. Michele is one of the kindest gentlest, smartest, humblest, honest, self-reflecting people I know. She was no push-over and although she might not have come right out and verbalize her disagreement that often, she had that pinched mouth, one raised eye smirk that said it all. I loved that smirk.

As a troop leader to my daughter, I remember mostly times of being out with the group of kids and her letting them explore and learn and do things that would make me cringe. Walmart in the middle of the night ring any bells? The number of customers getting to the register finding random things in their carts I can only imagine.

A 70-year-old man with a pregnancy test, a 20-year-old girl with hemorrhoid cream and prunes and on and on.

Hitting Denny’s at midnight and everyone being wound up on milkshakes and ordering anything they wanted and being loud pre-teens, I thought she was letting them be ‘bad’ but she was really letting them have harmless fun and teaching them individuality and she was always challenging their creativity. She is truly one of the most creative talented moms I knew. The birthday invitations were always so creative. Who knew you could send a plastic bottle full of confetti thru the mail?

As a friend, Michele was an open book. We could have real heartfelt meaningful conversations or just chat for hours and hours. It didn’t matter what we were talking about. She would listen like she had nothing else in the world more important to do. I never felt rushed while we chatted and sometimes that would keep us on the phone for 6+ hours. Many a times the housework would be done and dinner prepped before we realized how long we were talking.

I know she had that focus with everyone else she talked to too which is what made her so special. I miss our conversations sooo much!

One call that stands out is when I was going thru a really hard time in my life with lots of big changes one right after the other. One weekend it all felt like too much and I was really sad and she said “it’s OK if you feel like having a pity party, maybe I’ll join you” and we were literally on the phone for 36 hours.

We ate, we cried, we slept, (she sewed patches and swept dog hair while I took baths) and we talked about deep stuff and also sat in silence while switching from cordless phones to corded phones multiple times to charge batteries. That weekend solidified our close friendship and set the tone for many more healing marathon calls.

Selfless, that is the word that comes to mind when I think of Michele. She was the most selfless person I knew while giving so much of herself to others but still knowing when to take those moments to take care of herself as well. She taught me that if I wanted something or needed something to just get it or do it. Make it happen. Why not? What was I waiting for?

I so admired her ability to unplug and take retreats alone. I loved that so much about her. She was humble but knew her worth. I admired her ability to treat each person as if their time spent is the most important time spent and her ability to empathize with every person she came in contact with. No matter what.

I also admired her never ending optimism and trust in her spirituality. She never wavered and if she did, it was very short lived. Like minutes compared to my weeks.

When I think back over the past year and a half, I keep thinking about the fact that I did not hear her complain one time. No matter how hard her journey was at the time, or how much pain she was in, she did not complain. That blows my mind. I will forever think about that and try to be like her in that aspect the most.

She was a mama bear to so many kids and a trusted friend and confidant to me. No one on this earth knows or understands me as much as M did. There was no secret I wouldn’t tell her or no thought I would hold back. Sorry about that part Michele.

I truly love her with my whole heart

Kimberly Ann Bray, Karolynne DeSoto, and Shannon Ozog

Homecoming! We all got ready at the house and Michele curled our hair. I took this picture and said that I would tell everyone she was my mom. Lol. (Kimberly Ann Bray)

Not necessarily a specific memory, but just all of the moments that she was anyone and everyone’s mom/grandma. She has so much unconditional love for everyone in her life and always made sure we were taken care of. (Karolynne DeSoto)

Any time I got to spend with her and the rest of the crew at her house in Granite Falls. I still remember the night we all painted our own plates! Michelle always made me feel so welcomed and loved, even when I felt like an outsider, which I’m eternally grateful for and will never forget. (Shannon Ozog)

26. Mother’s Day Approaching

Each person can wear the word mother. People mother their pets, their plants, their friends, their cars, their kids, their creations… When I use a magnifying glass, each person is a miraculous example of the beauty and grace of mothering. I just need to look for the right element of focus. Where are you a terrific mother?

I hear and see Mom. Classic perfection. Wearing the title “Mother” as passion, occupation, light and love.

Soft, gentle eyes. She whispers on the wind, “Mother yourself”. Care for yourself. Love yourself. Feed yourself. Treat yourself like the precious child, the creation of Eternal beauty, that you are.

14. Love Relationships

Whether the marriage was carefully picked by loving family like many arranged marriages, whether some experts on a show used counseling and data to match us up, or if we gave it great effort and landed a great match, relationships are for growth. Growth comes from trials. And unconditional love has very little to do with human interaction.

Love_Relationships_2_Michele_Stowell

Nyasha just pushed through the Netflix series, Married at First Site. The people literally marry someone at first meeting. Some ‘experts’ have matched human values and profiles to choose the (questionable) best couplings.

It doesn’t really matter what brings people together in life. Usually there is a lot of dating and working out communication, life path, and values. We look to see if there is a chance of growing with this partner. You will grow! I promise that there is no relationship that doesn’t push a person to evolve. But we are normally looking for large glimpses of God’s unconditional love through the eyes of the partner IF we are choosing our own spouse. And we are usually looking for long term relationships, spouses we will take to the grave. AND we think or hope that we can maintain that reflection of unconditional love – rare.

While seeing bits and parts of the Married at First Site program, it is easy to watch the humanity in our ordeal. All eggs in one basket. The basket drops; the eggs break. The people in the show are trying to grow into love. They are confused by the paradigm, because we are not a culture of arranged marriages. But Nyasha’s roommate from college opted for an Indian arranged marriage because they work. They have much lower divorce rates and turn out to be happier, in Gurleen’s interpretation anyway.

Love_Relationshipe_Michele_Stowell_indian-tamil-traditional-wedding-cerremony-23538078 Marriage is not a guarantee of love. And the word love can be a self centered, “what can the other do for me” word. That can’t be further from what love is. But any kind of relationship will have lessons upon lessons, calling us to look to ourselves, within ourselves, so love becomes innate instead of reflected off of another.

The inner world, God, Higher Self, Divine connection… that is unconditional love. I think everyone can and has seen it, and can even connect to it every day. It is in the laughter of a child, in the eyes of the grandparent, in the heart shaped rock, or the whisper of a perfect warm breeze at the water’s edge. When we stop, look, listen, it appears in the words of a stranger, or a quick interaction with a passerby. We feel it when we give unconditional love outwardly, like an unseen contribution or act of kindness, where there is nothing to gain but the feeling itself. It rolls over us when we do art work, or express ourselves perfectly at work or in performance or just in being ourselves completely.

It would be a better world if we all realized how love is pouring into us from every opening it can get! If we reflected. If we had gratitude. If we just realized that unconditional love is a given part of our nature. If we could only see ourselves as a gift to the world. We are the unconditional love. It pours out and it floods in, every breath, every heart beat, every action. Open your eyes to the possibility that everything is perfect, because it is!

12. Unconditional Love

It is part of a large theme this week. We were all born… and at the point when the soul pops into the tiny, frail, human body, the universal love comes with it. In Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert outlines a spiritual practice of the people in Bali. They recognize the baby as God. The child does not touch the ground until it is six months old, because it is still sacred. At the half year, the baby has decided to be human, and that is celebrated as a sort of baptism into our world. And the feet hit the floor, literally and theoretically.

Soul entry is a big religious debate. Many in the US say it happens at conception. Religions tout varying beliefs. In my observations of Nyasha and Shante, Nyasha arrived present and aware. Shante didn’t exactly arrive at birth. She popped in and out for a week, and when she landed in her body for good, she was only half there for… about six months. There was a difference behind her eyes, and in her demeanor. There was a disconnection from the planet.

Nyasha was all in at birth, and furious. Her eyes were bright and focused. She wanted to be walking and talking and eating and being fully human from day one. The more skills and capabilities she amassed, the more the fury drained from her demeanor. She settled in. Did the peaceful acceptance of her body land at six months? Perhaps.

The undeniable disconnection from our Source happens. Children run care free and happy for a time. They can see things through the eyes of God. And then the awareness leaves most. It is a forgetting. A forgetting of unconditional love. And so we seek it.

6. Chemo: Round One

It’s like WWWF, because the truth behind the big picture is that there is no real competition. Everyone is on the same team. The cancer is on my team. The chemo is on my team. We are all working together in the drama that is bringing a new kind of excitement, pleasure, and beauty to the world.

It’s like smack down, WWWF (I had to look up the acronym… not my field of expertise!). First time on the mat, the competition standing on the other side, the crowd cheering and screaming, waiting for the dramatized excitement, the actors in the ring, ready to play out the big show, risking their bodies for the scene.

Michele Plumb Stowell WWWF It’s like that, but it’s not. It’s like WWWF, because the truth behind the big picture is that there is no real competition. Everyone is on the same team. The cancer is on my team. The chemo is on my team. We are all working together in the drama that is bringing a new kind of excitement, pleasure, and beauty to the world.

My focus is more often on the evolving perfection around me. The love and caring of family and friends, pouring toward me with such light. It’s the kind of beauty where you watch it and tears run down your face because it makes your heart want to explode. There is no way to hold the obviousness of how love is everything.

The heart is actually exploding. I think it is. Like particles spreading out into the universe, like a body can no longer hold the truth, and so the soul is showing itself as bigger, universal rather than individual. Obvious.

But there are those competitors on the mat. They are playing out the drama. There is a visual risk. It looks like sweat and pain and winning and losing. It isn’t.