Nyasha just pushed through the Netflix series, Married at First Site. The people literally marry someone at first meeting. Some ‘experts’ have matched human values and profiles to choose the (questionable) best couplings.
It doesn’t really matter what brings people together in life. Usually there is a lot of dating and working out communication, life path, and values. We look to see if there is a chance of growing with this partner. You will grow! I promise that there is no relationship that doesn’t push a person to evolve. But we are normally looking for large glimpses of God’s unconditional love through the eyes of the partner IF we are choosing our own spouse. And we are usually looking for long term relationships, spouses we will take to the grave. AND we think or hope that we can maintain that reflection of unconditional love – rare.
Whether the marriage was carefully picked by loving family like many arranged marriages, whether some experts on a show used counseling and data to match us up, or if we gave it great effort and landed a great match, relationships are for growth. Growth comes from trials. And unconditional love has very little to do with human interaction.
While seeing bits and parts of the Married at First Site program, it is easy to watch the humanity in our ordeal. All eggs in one basket. The basket drops; the eggs break. The people in the show are trying to grow into love. They are confused by the paradigm, because we are not a culture of arranged marriages. But Nyasha’s roommate from college opted for an Indian arranged marriage because they work. They have much lower divorce rates and turn out to be happier, in Gurleen’s interpretation anyway.
Marriage is not a guarantee of love. And the word love can be a self centered, “what can the other do for me” word. That can’t be further from what love is. But any kind of relationship will have lessons upon lessons, calling us to look to ourselves, within ourselves, so love becomes innate instead of reflected off of another.
The inner world, God, Higher Self, Divine connection… that is unconditional love. I think everyone can and has seen it, and can even connect to it every day. It is in the laughter of a child, in the eyes of the grandparent, in the heart shaped rock, or the whisper of a perfect warm breeze at the water’s edge. When we stop, look, listen, it appears in the words of a stranger, or a quick interaction with a passerby. We feel it when we give unconditional love outwardly, like an unseen contribution or act of kindness, where there is nothing to gain but the feeling itself. It rolls over us when we do art work, or express ourselves perfectly at work or in performance or just in being ourselves completely.
It would be a better world if we all realized how love is pouring into us from every opening it can get! If we reflected. If we had gratitude. If we just realized that unconditional love is a given part of our nature. If we could only see ourselves as a gift to the world. We are the unconditional love. It pours out and it floods in, every breath, every heart beat, every action. Open your eyes to the possibility that everything is perfect, because it is!