I want the right to say that I have nothing left to give. I want God to grant me the grace to exit before I am a burden, a vegetable, a useless form in an empty shell.
In party planning, Nyasha has been pushing for a pre death wake. Parties are good. I love party planning. I am seeing a Day of the Dead theme, face paint, great Mexican food. Maybe a yearly event… something that happens each year that I concede to stay on the planet, just so it doesn’t get morbid. Maybe just one party, maybe five.
Without segue, our state has a Death with Dignity allowance. When a person is terminal, when they are on the road to death, they can choose a date to end the pain. It is not simple. It requires paperwork, a waiting period between the choice and the date, and absolute conscious awareness of the person choosing.
The Netflix show, Grace and Frankie, has an extraordinary episode where a friend chooses to stop battling cancer. I cried when I watched long before my own diagnosis. Babe, the character, had to use a form of personal suicide rather than a medical option.
Death with Dignity is not suicide. It is controversial. I am willing to hear arguments in either direction, but I have a strong belief already. Terry Pratchett did his own research and interviews that are posted on youtube, beautifully done. He was facing Alzheimer’s at the time, and would not be allowed to choose Death with Dignity at the point where conscious awareness/clinical sanity had left.
In incredible pain, with the body holding to the planet and the spirit ready to transcend, I want this option. I want the right to say that I have nothing left to give. I want God to grant me the grace to exit before I am a burden, a vegetable, a useless form in an empty shell.
Did you read the Tiffany Aching books yet? Did you start with Wee Free Men, work your way through, and finish with the Shepherd’s Crown, his last book before Death walked him across the black dessert to the Eternal?
Sometimes people wish they had asked for advice from someone before the person died. I’m obviously giving it as I write, regardless of request.
Reading any Disc World book will evolve you. It will bring laughter and light and fun to those who need it. Depth, insight, and “ah ha” moments will come to those who are looking. And for me, spirituality, interconnection, and peace ooze between every Terry Pratchett cover.
My advice, don’t miss this part of earth life. Read the beloved English Knight.
(Terry was knighted for “service to literature” in 2009 and commented “I suspect the ‘services to literature’ consisted of refraining from trying to write any.” Serious literature, that is.)
Yesterday’s Reiki meditation had a lot of water energy. We all started there, with the water, or in the water, or under the water. Being at the ocean or visiting the falls or going to the river by the Shinto shrine feeds my soul. A shower can do the same thing!
In my Reiki session, Amisha saw a large manta ray swimming above me. The visions were fluid and deep. I connect with that in a way that is very difficult to explain. I can remember dreams where I have drowned (happily) and become one with the water, peace and love.
My mind goes back to Tiffany in the Wee Free Men (Terry Pratchett). She is told by the Kelda that her name means “land under wave”. And when her enlightenment is unfolding, she becomes one with the sea, with the creatures, with the history that actually become the chalk, the ground on which her ancestors and lineage stand. She was always that.
We are always that. It slips away in the daily grind. And when the awareness returns, the eyes never quite shut completely.
“She closed her eyes, and closed her eyes again.
She felt it all draining away. It was like falling asleep, sliding from that strange wide-awakeness in just normal, everyday… well, being awake. It felt like everything was blurred and muffled.
This is how we always feel, she thought. We sleepwalk through our lives, because how could we live if we were always this awake?” (Wee Free Men, Chapter 13, Land Under Wave)