89. Fear of Judgment Day

People will read into words that I say, misquoting and misunderstanding. People will look into their own belief systems, and they will think that mine should be the same. People will read about themselves, directly and indirectly, and they will not ask for clarification or converse with me about the details.

With a title like Judgment Day, one would think that I was having thoughts and fears about death.  Actually, it is about life.  The open web site launched, and in that moment I realized that the segments of me that I sort and control, that I keep quiet and chosen, I realized that they are public.  Fear.

“Public” isn’t exactly the issue.  The issue is the people who live in my world, and that are certain to have thoughts, feelings and judgments about the real me.  If I live another decade, this matters.  If I live for just a week, I don’t care one bit.

On the other side, the faces that may appear before I cross the black desert are free of judgment.  I don’t see Jesus checking a list, or Mother Mary counting out the times I have made a mistake.  The faces of Buddha and Quan Yen smile and exude compassion.  White Buffalo Calf Woman and Mohammad acknowledge my individuality and embrace advancement, my universal contribution.  And they are one.  And I am.  I am one with them all, a child of God, the actual Universal depth.

But judgment?  Human judgment will fall.  People will read into words that I say, misquoting and misunderstanding.  People will look into their own belief systems, and they will think that mine should be the same.  People will read about themselves, directly and indirectly, and they will not ask for clarification or converse with me about the details.  They will not check to see if my banter, a flow of words that only hold my thoughts on a passing moment, still hold merit to my mind.

Sigh.  Fear.  It is judgment day.

Author: Michele Plumb Stowell

Michele Stowell was a teacher, a hand holder, and encouraging voice. Born an early Gen Xer, she has lived in Western Washington for the duration. Her children, two spectacular genetic daughters and an uncountable number of marvelous scout and school sons and daughters, shine as her biggest impact and her greatest blessing. Just before her 54th birthday, Michele was diagnosed with stage four cancer. Her writing and art work are expressions of the drama and the joy of living earth bound. On October 24, 2021, Michele was released from her physical body, transported to continue her work on other realms.

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